“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant
In the wake of Prince’s passing the radio was filled with his music. While I was listening to an online radio station, the host was mentioning how great Prince was as a composer, musician, and a performance artist. As the host continued he felt the need to introduce one additional element into the conversation…
Perhaps it was the combination of the host’s love for Prince and the still-fresh news of his death, but the conversation went from how great Prince was to a conversation about how much greater Prince was as compared to others. Actually, it wasn’t a conversation. It felt more like a sermon…the host speaking with Biblical certainty as he told the world how much greater of a guitarist Prince was compared to Eric Clapton. “Anyone can play the blues…it’s easy!” declared the DJ.
I was rather surprised and disappointed as to where he was going with this. Why can’t we just celebrate the contributions of what each artist has shared with the world without the need to rank one over another? I wondered if this DJ’s view of the world would prevent him from enjoying a Clapton song simply because he believed Prince was better?
Our culture has a thing for ranking just about everything. At the end of every year we are exposed to the top songs and movies of the past 12 months. Local newspapers publish lists of their area’s best restaurants as voted on by it’s readers. I do my own fair share of comparing things, from shopping for which brand of green beans to buy to making far more important decisions in my life. But there’s one area of life where comparison can prove to be quite destructive…
Comparing myself to others.
IT’S YOUR DECISION I’m not schooled on whether comparing ourselves to others is a universal characteristic of humanity. All I do know is it really fucks things up. You can take stock of all the good things you have in your life but those same things may suddenly not be as good when you decide to start comparing where you are in life to others. Someone is always wealthier, taller, thinner, stronger, faster, cooler, more accomplished, more talented, smarter, living in a bigger house, and taking better vacations. And we all know people who are at least one of those. In any moment, though, we get to decide if we will find joy in who we are and in what we have or if we will beat ourselves down because we, in our own distorted opinion of our own self worth, don’t believe we are good enough.
Comparison is the breeding ground of envy, and when you’re busy wishing you were living someone else’s life you’ll never be happy living the only life you’ll ever have.
It’s a life-altering decision when your focus is on celebrating you as you already are.
After all, as Prince famously wrote, “Nothing Compares 2 U”.
It’s a great day to be you!
April 30, 2016 No Comments
You are beautiful.
You are unlimited.
And you matter.
Perhaps you’ve forgotten this. Please let me remind you.
Or worse yet, you don’t believe it.
Please let me convince you.
Life gets busy and often the importance of perspective gets lost as we just try and make it through another day. Daily demands and prioritizing others often means you never get around to taking care of the most important person in your life.
Here, in no particular order, are seven thoughts to contemplate in hopes you’ll take the a few moments to reconnect with this beautiful person you call you.
Beautiful isn’t something you become, its something you already are. Walk through any supermarket check-out and you are inundated with the latest fashion and lifestyle magazines, each Read the rest of this entry »
February 28, 2016 No Comments
Some days I wear my dog to work.
With the bone-chilling cold of a New England winter upon us, I often rely on my fleece jacket to keep me warm. Fleece is great, but due to static electricity it’s also quite magnetic. Especially when it comes to dog fur. Just walking close to my dog and his hair seems to jump right on me.
We all have something in common with fleece. Things stick to us, too. How and where we spend our time greatly influences what actually gets stuck. Spend too much time in any negative environment and you will see that negativity start sticking to you. Fortunately, it works that way for positivity as well.
Perhaps you spend time interacting with disgruntled co-workers as they complain about what’s wrong with the company. Or, maybe it’s joining in with gossiping relatives as they gleefully talk about other relatives. Or it could even be watching the nightly TV news as it recaps everything which went wrong in the world today. It’s all toxic. And it all sticks to you.
YOUR CHOICE Or you could choose to surround yourself with people and environments which uplift and inspire you. Maybe it’s time to engage with more upbeat co-workers, distance yourself from the gossipers, or spend the time you’d use watching the news to go for a walk instead.
Our environments greatly impact our emotional health and well being. We are responsible for creating the spaces, experiences, and relationships we need to allow ourselves to flourish and thrive.
So, what’s been getting stuck on you these days?
Life is sticky. Make sure you’re getting stuck to the things which serve you.
It’s a great day to be you!
February 24, 2016 2 Comments